Perspective is a great thing. It can bring understanding to situations and circumstances. Unfortunately, the perspective that can help to bring closure usually comes at the cost of going through something painful. The older we get, the more pain we experience, the length and depth of our perspective becomes broader. We view current and future events through glasses of our past.
This leads me to ask - is there ultimately such a thing as “bad” pain? Parents say all the time that they just want their kids to be happy. Does this mean that a parent should never tell her child “No”? “Bad” things happen to “good” people all the time. Is this fair? “The rain falls on the just and the unjust”. Who are we to judge. Jerry Bridges in his book “Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts” gives the example of a man who looses his job but as he is leaving the office runs into an acquaintance. The result of their meeting is that the man is hired and gets a higher paying job than his previous one. What seemed like a bad situation actually lead to something better for the man. But what if this same man left his office and didn’t find work for a year or longer with less pay? Most people would judge that as a bad situation. Another great story is the “Woodcutter’s Wisdom”. Well worth the quick read but I won’t rehash the story here.
The point is that a situation is judged as good or bad if the apparent outcome is positive or negative. However, we don’t always get to look behind the curtain right away to see the bigger plan. Most of the time, the lesson, and hopefully the truth, is revealed over time. Life is a journey; not a sprint.
For me the last 6 years has been a pretty amazing journey of awareness. I have realized that I have been a coward in many ways; not intentionally but still lazy. Even though I truly wanted to do the right thing I was living my life under the influence of people. Respecting authority is one thing but determining my path according to someone else’s opinion/standards is laziness on my part.
What has God called me to do? What is He wanting me to become? How is He wanting me to live?
Micah 6:8 “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”
But how many times are we caught up in each others business or in the business of people we don’t even know judging them? I have enough issues of my own to work on without getting, distracted, really, by who is where and doing what.
This may not seem like a painful process to arrive at this place but I assure you it has been an incredibly emotional journey and not a pleasant one. I am tempted to get into so many specifics but I keep coming back to - 1) what’s the point? and 2) what’s the big picture?
My current perspective is:
1. Walk humbly with my God. I am responsible for me. This journey is about me and God. Is God calling me to take the same path He has chosen for you? No. Then I shouldn’t judge my life by yours or anyone else’s.
2. God loves me - always - as I am. He is full of mercy and grace. Yes, He is holy, but that does not mean He is looking over me and yelling at me “Why do you keep messing up?” I take great comfort in finally getting that God is my cheerleader. He gets excited when I move forward. His method of motivation is not fear but love.
3. God’s grace is amazing. Can’t really add much here other than - see point #1 and #2;)
Correction - I would like to tackle one specific: homosexuality. While I do believe homosexuality is a sin - I am grieved by the way many “Christians” treat other people created in the image of God. I struggle with other sin. Sin is sin. People are people - with feelings. I think the world could stand to see a little more of Christ’s love than our judgement. “Be kind to one another”. It may seem like the “kind” thing to do to keep telling people that homosexuality is a sin - but who are you? A complete stranger that is passing judgement on someone you don’t know. See point #2.
I would like to think that being on the other end of this 6 year journey has resulted in that I am more compassionate, independent, and understanding than I was before. I entitled my blog “Where I Am” and this point is truly - where I am - today.